The Wizard of Hetalia
by Magnolia Teacup
Summary: Finland  and Hanatamago  are transported to a distant land where scarecrows talk, shoes are magical, and an evil witch wants revenge for the murder  via flying house  of his sister. Hilarity ensues. APH parody of 'The Wizard of Oz' with a SuFin twist.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again, citizens of the Internet! This story is a sequel to another fanfiction of mine, _The Little Nation_, so it would make more sense if you red that one first. :'D  
><em>The Wizard of Hetalia<em> is a parody of _The Wizard of Oz_ (the 1939 film version). Enjoy.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Part One: <strong>_**A Frustrated Finn**_

His dreams swirled in an unstoppable tempest of hobbits, crimson roses, Middle Earth, Asteroid B-612, cursed rings, and talking animals. To most, this would be a dream of complete nonsense. But, to the anthropomorphic Republic of Finland, these vagaries were nothing more than the backwash of last night's bedtime story escapades.

The sleeping Finn was awakened by a warm breath that brushed tenderly across his cheek. He decided not to move, wanting desperately to fall back to sleep. It shocked him when a hot, wet tongue trailed itself along the shell of his ear. He moaned softly at the sensation, still refusing to open his eyes.

"S-Su-san…" he mumbled, cheeks flushing. "Not now; I've only been asleep for three hours at the most. I'm too tired for that…" However, the sticky tongue still persisted to lick at his sensitive spots on his neck. Finally, Finland opened his eyes and sat upright in bed, his face a bright red color. "Su-san! I said-"

A pair of black eyes framed by fluffy white fur stared back at him innocently. The small dog barked and wagged her tail as her master patted her on the head. "… Good morning, Hanatamago," Finland chuckled quietly. "Was that _you_ licking me?" She leaned into the soft touch and swiftly jumped off of the bed. She barked again, not taking her eyes off her master. Finland sighed; he knew that she had to be put outside to do her "business". He got out of the bed, as well, but not before glancing at his sleeping husband. The tall Swede reminded him of a hibernating bear, his breath coming in and out slowly and evenly. All throughout the retelling of Lord of the Rings, last night, Sweden listened silently and intently, never once taking his eyes off the smaller nation. Finland had to admit that having Sweden stare at him for so long was a bit frightening, but, at the same time, it also felt nice having the one you love keep his unwavering gaze on you, and you alone.

Now that he thought about it, Finland reasoned that Sweden should be the one who put the dog out, seeing as all he did was listen to a bedtime story, while Finland had to tell two of them! "Oh well…" Finland said aloud. He didn't really mind letting Hanatamago out all too much. He opened the front door, allowing the walking ball of fluff to trot outside onto the blanket of snow on the ground. He shivered at the cold gust of air that invaded his house from the open doorway. The nation then lazily trudged back to the bedroom, snuggled down into the warm sheets once again, and promised that this was only a short rest, and that he would bring Hanatamago inside in just a bit.

Little did he know that the clutches of sleep were anxiously waiting for his return.

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><p>The next thing that Finland realized was a soft knock at the door. He rolled over in bed and glanced at the clock; it was 7:08 am. He groaned, hoping that the knock was only his overtired imagination playing tricks on him. But alas, the hesitant knocking was heard a second time, this time a bit louder than the last. Finland turned his head to face the sleeping Swede.<p>

"Hey, Su-san," he said, lightly shaking the man's shoulder. It would be _his _turn to get up now. Sweden didn't respond. "Su-san, wake up," Finland shook the man's shoulder a bit rougher this time. "There's someone at the door." Sweden still didn't budge, nor show any signs of waking up. After a short period of silence, Finland gave a frustrated sigh and got out of the covers, once again. His feet mindlessly guided him down the flight of stairs to the foyer. He opened up the front door to a short, nervous teenager, with his fist raised in the air, poised to knock again, and his gaze cast downward. Before Finland could say anything, the boy moved his fist forward to knock again. However, instead of knocking on the wooden door, his fist rapped on Finland's chest.

"Ah-" he said in distress once he felt Finland's torso instead of wood. "I'm s-s-so sorry!"

Finland sighed, a perturbed look settling over his tired facial expressions. "It's alright, Latvia." The boy looked up at the mention of his name.

"Good m-m-morning, Mr. Finland," he stuttered.

"Good morning," Finland stepped aside to let the Latvian walk through the doorway. "What brings you here so early in the morning?"

"Oh, um, I was told by-"

"Latvia!" a voiced outburst from inside the house. It was none other than Sealand. For some reason, the boy was already dressed and looking very awake.

"Hello, Sealand," said Latvia. "Um… why did you want me to come here so badly? You woke me up with the walkie-talkie quite early…"

Sealand grabbed the taller boy's arm. "I just got the greatest idea EVER! We're gonna make a movie!"

"A m-movie!" Sealand then began to drag the Baltic nation down the hallway and into his room when Finland spoke up.

"Sealand," he said in a stern voice that only an experienced parent could use. The micronation froze, and then turned around to face his "Mama".

"Yes…?"

"May I have a word with you?"

"…Alright…" He dragged his feet as he walked.

"When did I say that you could have a friend over this early in the morning?" Finland kept his voice down so that Latvia couldn't hear him.

"Well, I didn't mean to wake you up," the small blond furrowed his thick eyebrows. "I'm sorry, Mama."

Finland was about to complain about being called "Mama" (it was almost as bad as being called "m'wife"), but the defeated look in his adopted son's eyes just about melted his heart. The Finn exhaled deeply. "Fine," he said at last, rubbing his forehead. He could feel a bad headache coming on. "Just remember to ask me first, next time." Sealand's face lit up as he thanked his parental figure, and then pulled Latvia into his room to commence their activities.

Once more, Finland lumbered back up the stairs and into his bedroom. He cumbrously got into bed, and closed his eyes. He was just about to let sleep take over when he heard his door creak open. The Finn's eyes opened abruptly.

"Uh…" It was Sealand.

"What?" Finland asked bluntly.

Sealand hesitated slightly. "Latvia didn't have breakfast, yet. Me neither."

"Well, can't you make it, yourselves? Make something simple." Usually, if this were any other morning, he would have gladly made breakfast for the two boys. But, on this particular morning, he was exhausted beyond reason.

"…Okay." Sealand shut the door and stomped down the stairs.

'_At last_', Finland thought. '_I'll finally get some sleep…_'

_**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**_

Finland's bloodshot eyes shot open like those of an angry beast that had just found out that his prey had been stolen. He glared at the alarm clock sitting atop the nightstand. "_Perkele_…" he mumbled crossly.

Suddenly, Sweden stirred next to him. "Mornin', Fin," the man mumbled before languidly grabbing the shorter nation in a warm hug. He nuzzled his face into the Finn's hair as the two spooned underneath the warm covers.

"Of course, you wake up _now_…" Finland murmured indignantly.

"Hm?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Su-san." Finland clumsily extricated himself from the other's grasp. It appeared as if he would get no time to sleep. He made his way over to the wardrobe and picked out a random outfit. He was about to change out of his pajamas when he felt a presence behind him. "Su-san…?"

"Ya look t'red, Fin," said Sweden with an almost tangible glare.

"Well, yes; in fact, I am _very_tired."

"Ya still w'nt to sleep?"

"No, t-that's alright." Finland waited until the other man walked away with a concerned look on his face. He got dressed and went downstairs to find Sealand in front of the stove, spatula in hand, as he tried his best to make an omelet for Latvia and himself. However, the boy apparently inherited his older brother's cooking skills, as the "omelet" appeared to be nothing but a burnt yellow mush.  
>Without saying a word, Finland offered his outstretched hand, and Sealand silently gave him the spatula.<p>

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><p>Finland's body was slumped over at the kitchen table. He was left in the room alone after the boys had finished their breakfast that Finland prepared for them. His eyelids were dangerously heavy. '<em>Maybe, if I fall asleep right here in this chair, no one will notice…<em>' he thought.

_**BAM! BAM! BAM!**_

An impatient knocking reverberated through both the front door and Finland's mind. Finland silently fumed, not getting up from his spot at the table. '_Who could it possibly be now!_' Luckily, Sweden also heard the knocking and went to answer the door.

"Sverige!" the tall Dane vociferated excitedly.

"H'llo, Denmark," Sweden mumbled unenthusiastically.

"Hey, I bet you'll never guess what I found in my backyard!" Denmark let himself in and walked into the kitchen so both Sweden and Finland could see him. Suddenly, he pulled out a white ball of fluff from inside his jacket. The puffball barked.

"Hanatamago!" Finland exclaimed. The small dog jumped down from the man's arms and wagged her tail at both Sweden and Finland. "How did she get all the way-"

And then Finland finally remembered.

"… Ah!" He mentally scolded himself. "I… I let her out this morning, and forgot to take her back in…"

Sweden stared down at him. "… s'alright. She's b'ck, n'w."

"I know, but what if something happened to her? What if she had gone into Russia's backyard? What if-"

"Wow, you look really _tired_, Fin! Are you alright?" Denmark interjected. Finland shot him an irritated glance. His headache was getting worse. The Dane slyly raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Don't tell me that you two did it all night lo-" He stopped mid-sentence once he saw Sweden's frightening glare.

Finland suddenly got up from the chair. "I'll be back," he said bluntly.

"Where 're ya goin'?" Sweden asked, concerned.

"I just need to go for a walk." And, with that as his farewell, Finland left through the door after he had snagged his coat, Hanatamago deciding to follow him.

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><p>The Finn sighed heavily as he walked along the road. He looked down at the dog. "Is it really my fault that you ran away?" Hanatamago just barked happily. Sometimes, it was better to talk to animals about your problems than to talk to people. Finland glowered. "I mean, is it really a lot to ask for a little help from time to time? If Su-san was awake, he could've at least helped me out a bit…" He angrily kicked a pebble that skidded along the icy road, and shivered. He scolded himself for not bringing his warmer coat with him.<p>

He walked along in silence for some time. The calm was broken once Hanatamago slipped and skidded across a patch of ice. Finland watched her get up again, still as bouncy as ever. '_I should really go back…_' he thought, and sighed. Swiftly turning around, he walked at a brisk pace back home. "But what should I say to him…? I really-"

Finland's sentence was cut short by his feet giving out under him. His feet tried desperately to regain traction, but to no avail. He had slipped on a patch of ice that he hadn't noticed before.

"Ah-!" He landed on his backside abruptly on the freezing ground, a sharp pain at the back of his skull. "Ow, my head…"

Suddenly, his vision blurred and everything turned black, the only sound being the short yips coming from Hanatamago.

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><p>"Ow…" Finland rubbed the back of his head. He got up from the ice, his dog patiently waiting for him. '<em>That's odd<em>,' he thought. '_Did I pass out?_'

He then felt a sudden chill in the air and looked around. There appeared to be the start of a blizzard. Wide-eyed, he dashed toward home, not wanting to get caught in a snowstorm, the little dog following suit.

When he finally burst through the doorway, the blizzard had gotten worse. He had never seen winds like this in his entire life.

"Su-san? Sealand?" he called frantically. "Latvia? Denmark?" He frenziedly looked around the house for any signs of his family. It appeared that everyone had left. '_Maybe they all went looking for me?_' he thought. '_Oh no! What if they're still outside in the storm!_' Finland ran over to the window.

"Wh-what the hell!" he exclaimed. Apparently, the house was not on the ground any more; it had been lifted by the powerful winds. Finland, wide-eyed, looked down at the ground far below his home. "This is impossible! I must be dreaming!" Try as he might, Finland could not wake up from this nightmare.

So, he did what anyone with a flying house would do in this kind of situation; he grabbed his dog and hid under the kitchen table.

_**BOOM!**_

Then, everything was still. The nervous Finn looked around; everything was eerily silent. '_Did we land?_' Slowly, he got up – dog still in hand – and made his way to the front door. He cautiously pushed it open and…

His mouth hung agape. "Wow…" The world outside appeared to be a colorful paradise. There were flowers everywhere, tiny houses, birds chirping merrily, bright blue skies, and crystal-clear water. It looked like something right out of a fairytale. Finland was speechless.

Suddenly, he turned around to see a giant bubble floating down from the sky. He eyed it suspiciously until it faded to reveal a figure in a sparkly pink dress. Finland was at a loss for words.

The figure held up his wand. "Like, you're so totally not in Kansas, anymore~!"

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Well, I hope you like it so far. :'D<br>I wrote this a while ago, so it's not written that well. I just figured I'd upload it for the heck of it. *shrugs***

**Okay, goodbye, strange Internet people! We may or may not meet again! *vanishes in a cloud of smoke*  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, again. Here's chapter two! ****  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Part Two: <strong>_**Somewhere Over the Rainbow…**_

Finland blinked. "Um… actually, I've never been to Kansas…"

The pink-clad stranger tilted his head. "You know, neither have I..." He took a step closer to Finland. "So, are you, like, a good witch, or a bad witch?"

Finland looked from side to side. "Who, me?" When it was apparent that the sparkly character was talking about him, Finland replied, "Why, I'm not a witch at all." '_That's odd_,' he thought. '_Why would he think that I'm a witch?_'

"Well, like, is _that_the witch?" he pointed to Hanatamago with the tip of his wand.

"Oh, no. Hanatamago is my dog." Finland narrowed his eyes. "Um, you look strangely familiar… Who are you?"

"I'm Feliks, the Good Witch of the North."

"Ah, sorry. I thought you were someone else." The Finn forced out a chuckle.

"Well, if you're totally not a witch, then who, like, dropped that house on Natalia, the Wicked Witch of the East?"

"Eh?" Finland turned around to look back at his house. "Oh my goodness! Did my house just land on that poor woman!"

"Yup."

"Well, aren't we going to help her!"

"She's so totally dead now. And, as they say, _no one mourns the wicked_…"

Finland stared at Feliks in disbelief. "Oh great," he said to himself. "I've landed in Crazyland...!"

The glittery pink gentleman put his hands on his hips. "Like, this is so not Crazyland." He stepped aside so that Finland could see the extent of the little, colorful houses. "This is _Micronationland_~!"

Finland confusedly stared at Feliks for a moment. "Huh..? But then where are the Micronations?" At that moment, the Finn heard a whimsical chorus of giggles coming from all around him, though he could not pinpoint exactly where.

Feliks grinned. "Like, come out, come out, wherever you are~!" he sang in a cheery tone. "And meet the young man who fell from a star!" Slowly but surely, tiny faces peeked out of windows and gardens and from behind various places. The Micronations gathered around Finland and Feliks in the town square.

'_Oh my... They're all so tiny..._' Finland mentally noted. And they were; the Micronations all looked like children, no older than eleven or twelve, perhaps.

A girl whose brown hair was pulled back with a red flower-adorned hair-tie stepped forward from the growing crowd. "Is she really dead?" she asked, arching her impressively-thick eyebrows. She was swiftly answered by a cry from the crowd to call forth the official Coroner of Micronationland. On cue, a single boy dressed in blue and white robes inched out of the mass. Finland stared intently at his slightly-mussed blond hair, his sky-blue eyes, and those unmistakably bushy eyebrows. '_That's funny,_' thought the Finn. '_That boy looks a lot like Sealand..._' The Micronation made apparent the paper document which he held in his hands. The crowd hushed, albeit a few worried whispers that laced though their midst, and focused their attention on the Coroner.

He impressively opened his documentation for all to see. "... Well, she's dead, alright."

Finland's face blanched even further as he fidgeted uncomfortably. "I.. I didn't _mean_to kill her... It was just an acciden-"

"Like, let the joyous new be spread!" Feliks outburst to the crowd of Micronations. "The Wicked ol' Witch is totally dead!" At this proclamation, the Micronations burst into a cheerful uproar. At last, they were free from the tyrannical Witch of the East! The tiny people danced and sang and praised Finland for his heroic deed.

"B-but I... I didn't-" Finland gave up trying to reason with these people. In their eyes, he was a hero, and there was nothing he could do to change that. Heck, he even heard chatter of putting his name in the Micronationland Hall of Fame!

Suddenly, in the middle of the Micronations' celebration, a thunderous cry came from the center of the village. A cloud of thick red smoke materialized, and out from which a tall man in black stepped into the crowd. The tiny nations backed away in horror, and Finland found Feliks standing protectively at his side. Once the remainder of the smoke cleared, Finland gasped as he saw the face of this stranger.

"R...Russia...?" he mumbled quietly.

The Russia-look-alike spoke, a wide grin spread on his face. "Who killed my sister?" He glared maniacally at the cowering Micronations. His eyes settled upon the obvious newcomer. "Was it you?" He pointed to Finland with a long faucet pipe.

As he took a step closer, Feliks quickly advanced to stand in front of the confused Finn. "Like, leave him alone, Ivan!"

"You stay out of this." Ivan huffed. He centered his violet-eyed gaze on Finland. "So it was you, was it?" He put his faucet pipe back down at his side. "You killed her, didn't you?"

"No- No!" Finland stammered. "It was an accident! I didn't mean to kill anybody! Really I didn't...!"

"An accident, Да?" He inched his face forward. "Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents, too."

'_His little pretty...?_' Finland stepped back a bit.

"But Ivan," interjected Feliks. "Aren't you, like, totally forgetting something?"

A look of sudden realization crossed Ivan's features. "The boots!" He turned back to the house which had fallen upon his sister. All that was left of Natalia was her two feet which stuck out from beneath Sweden and Finland's front porch. But, alas, her feet were bootless. "The ruby stiletto boots! They're gone!" He turned back around to face Finland and Feliks, but his mouth dropped open in surprise.

Finland followed the path of Ivan's gaze, which rested on his own two feet. He furrowed his brow and mumbled,"Oh you've got to be kidding me..."

But there they were on Finland's feet.

The ruby-red stiletto boots in all their sleek, sexy, feminine glory.

Ivan gasped. "Give them back! You wouldn't understand the extent of their great power!"

"Keep tight inside them," Feliks told Finland. "Their magic must be totally powerful! Or else why would Ivan, like, want them so badly?"

Finland wiggled his toes inside the shiny footwear. '_Well, they do make me feel pretty... Wait! No! I'm a __**man**__, damn it!_'

"Stay out of this, Feliks," Ivan warned. "Those stilettos are rightfully mine."

Feliks scoffed. "Like, you wouldn't look good in them, anyways. They're _so_not your color. And you'd better be totally gone before someone, like, drops a house on you, as well."

Ivan frowned, irritated. "Very well..." He then looked directly at Finland. "I'll pay you back for what you've done to my sister. I'll never forget." And with that, he vanished almost as quickly as he'd come, disappearing into a now-familiar cloud of red smoke.

After a short silence, Feliks spoke aloud to the cowering Micronations. "It's alright. You can, like, get up. He's gone." Slowly but surely, the tiny people made their way back into the town square where Finland and the Witch of the North were standing.

Finland let out the breath that he'd been holding in.

"You totally made an enemy out of Ivan, the Wicked Witch of the West. You need to, like, go home. Like right now."

Finland sighed. "Well, I'd give anything to go home right now. It's just that I don't know how. And it's not like I can just travel via flying house again..."

"Hmm... You do have a valid point..." Feliks twirled a lock of blond hair, deep in thought. "Well, the only person who might know how to, like, send you home would be the great and wonderful Wizard himself!"

"The Wizard?" Finland cocked his head. "Is he good, or is he wicked?"

"Very good, but, like, very mysterious, too," Feliks stopped twirling his hair and looked off into the distance. "He lives in the Emerald City, which is totally far from here."

"Ah... So can I borrow a car or something?"

"A car?" Feliks raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You're just going to have to walk there."

"What! In _these_heels!" Finland motioned to the bright red shoes on his feet.

"Don't sweat it. It's not so bad. Just don't, like, take those ruby stilettos off, or you'll be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West."

Finland let out a small whimper. Hanatamago comforted him by nuzzling her head against the aforementioned footwear. "Alright," he said as he gave Feliks a tired smile. "How do I get to the Emerald City?"

"All you have to do is, like, follow the yellow brick road." He pointed to the brightly-colored bricks beneath his feet.

"But what happens if I-"

"Just follow the yellow brick road," Feliks said as he began to float away in his trademark bubble. In an instant, he was gone.

"... People come and go so quickly, here." Finland remarked once the bubble was long out of sight. He picked up Hanatamago and focused his attention on the road in front of him. "Follow the yellow brick road, huh?" He took a few steps, flinching a bit when he looked down at the thin, twelve-centimeter heels that clicked awkwardly on the yellow bricks. He sighed.

Suddenly, the Finn noticed a small person standing off to the side. He was the Micronationland Coroner who looked like Sealand. "It'll be alright," said the boy. "Just follow the yellow brick road."

Finland smiled at him and thought of his energetic boy at home. '_Soon_,' he thought. '_I'll be home, soon_.'

He bid farewell to the fair folk of Micronationland and began his journey down the road of yellow bricks.

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Because college sucks up all of my spare time like a tick, I have no idea when I'll write chapter 3. Just be patient, my little hamster children. Mama Magnolia Teacup will not forget about you...<br>**


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